Thursday, December 31, 2009

The rest of the countdown

#20: potholes
#19: mold
#18: Deeanna
#17: uncared for dogs
#16: fleas
#15: overflowing dumpster
#14: belly mom
#13: car port junk
#12: car lot
#11: commute
#10: Britney
#9: drug traffic
#8: soundtrack next door
#7: ice cream truck
#6: events in our yard
#5: roaches
#4: Hep C...?
#3: Mr. S
#2: shared laundry
#1: Andy

Ahh, the end of the countdown!! Sorry its been a while, were trying to not think about Apple Lane now that we are no longer there (mini celebration!!).

Here are the reasons for the Hep C fear, outdoor tattoos?! and blood :(. Can we say ghetto?!

Mr. S's ineffectivness is beyond ridiculous!! He failed to resign my previous lease (in an apartment that I loved) because the neighbors didn't like the "lesbianism", he did basically nothing about the roaches, he left our toilet and water unusable for over 4 days!, didn't even call back about the blood, and now is being unresponsive about getting the place closed up!! Can we way slumlord?!

Shared laundry....you have read the blog, what more can I say? They are disrespectful lazy assholes!

And finally, the #1 reason we will not miss Apple lane....(drumroll please)...Andy!! He isn't even supposed to live here and he is the worst thing about it. He knocks on our door and interupts our nights to try and sell his stolen crap. He smokes practically into our front window. He is a toothless, disgusting, pathetic, little man. He beats his wife...in front of his kid (asshole!!!). He makes absolutely no attempt to get a job so he can get his wife and child out of his mother-in-law's living room, step up you lazy jerk! And because of this laziness factor, he is always here! We never get a break from him.

Oh Apple Lane, how we do not miss you!!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Almost gone!!

#20: potholes

#19: mold
#18: Deeanna
#17: uncared for dogs
#16: fleas
#15: overflowing dumpster
#14: belly mom
#13: car port junk
#12: car lot
#11: commute
#10: Britney
#9: drug traffic
#8: the crap that we have to listen to from next door

#7: ice cream truck
#6: anticipating shit sales and car washes
#5: roaches

#8 refers to more than just the constant yelling and screaming, its the content of the fights. So often we have to witness obvious domestic violence and child abuse. Unfortunately it is not to the level (at least not what we hear) to be considered "reportable" but is still disturbing. I hate hearing this and I really hate not being able to do anything about it. I will not miss that terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach when I hear Artie crying while Arturo and Talia scream at eachother about pointless crap.

The ice cream truck from hell, what else can I say....

For #6, we will not miss the anticipation of driving up to Apple Lane and wondering what we will come home to. Will it be a junk sale, a ghetto car wash...who knows?! Its like a depressing gameshow.

Ahh, the roaches. Who has roaches in Washington?! They are impossible to get rid of when the duplex neighbor just allows them to keep on trucking. The exterminator that Mr. S hired was basically a high school kid with a vacum cleaner, I think he attracted more insects than he killed! I hate roaches!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Still counting down!

#20: potholes

#19: mold
#18: Deeanna
#17: uncared for dogs
#16: fleas
#15: overflowing dumpster
#14: belly mom
#13: car port junk
#12: car lot
#11: the g.d. commute!!
#10: the gross mom
#9: constant drug traffic
(yay, single digits!)
Let start with the ridiculousness of the commute! Apple Lane is obscenley far from everything we do. Our move is going to cut my commute to school down by 45 minutes and Rachel's commute to work down by 55 minutes!! That means 15 minutes to school and 5 minutes to work! Anyone who lives in a big city knows how amazing that is!

Alright, on to the gross mom. This is in reference to Britney whose front door is directly out our front window...luck us! She is white trash in a nutshell. I have no idea how old she is because she looks...well rough. She has this one dress that she wears all the freakin time. I don't know how to describe it, so just picture the typical flower print muumuu style dress that fills the racks of most thrift stores, yeah that's it! She also has quite a few boyfriends from what we can tell and always has them over....in her 1 bedroom apartment that she shares with her teenage son and daughter. The whole situation is wrong on so many levels (picture me shuddering)!

And finally, the drug traffic. What more can I say, its annoying, ghetto, and makes us feel very safe. Awesome.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Falling behind..#13 and #12

#20: potholes

#19: mold
#18: Deeanna
#17: uncared for dogs
#16: fleas
#15: overflowing dumpster
#14: belly mom
#13: car port junk yard
#12: car lot and crappy cars

So, I fell a bit behind, for good reason though...we finally have time to pack!! We have been packing and organizing like crazy...time flies when you are anticipating the departure of hell!

Luckily these two items go together, basically they make reference to the fact that everyone here treats this place like their own personal junk yard. We have so many cars here, most of which never move out of their irritating spots. The worst though is Arturo's, it squeels like crazy..you know on Dumb and Dumber, the most annoying sound in the world...yeah that is what it sounds like. And for some reason they have been starting it at night, letting it run for 10-15 minutes, turning it off and waiting for about half an hour then starting it again and doing the same thing all over again. Why?! Is that really necessary, you have no place to go to!!

Oh, and the car ports. They are ridiculuous. Ours is literally the only one that is used for its intended purpose. The rest are packed to the celing with crap, not storage, just crap. Awesome.

Friday, December 18, 2009

#14 is gross...

#20: potholes

#19: mold
#18: Deeanna
#17: uncared for dogs
#16: fleas
#15: overflowing dumpster
#14: the disgusting "belly mom"

This lady comes to visit Talia all the time and she seriously disgusts me. She is the one who used to bring laundry over to do on the weekends (in multiple garbage bags!), she parks like this every time which is slightly intrusive and annoying, plus she has about a million kids and they are always crying on the step or running around uninhibited...at 11pm on a school night! Oh and another thing, she is really really distrubing to look at! She always wears shirts that look like they would fit her 5 year old daughter and she has a full blown beer gut. I literally thought she was pregnant for the first few months that we lived here! She has that wonderful "high cost of low living" look that everyone else here has...you know the look, it makes 30 year olds look 50!
Anyways, she is not fun to catch a glimpse of out of the living room window and she is awfully intrusive considering she doesn't even live here (not that half of the regulars do anyways) so that is why she is the #14 thing we will not miss about Apple Lane!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Moving on to #15

#20: potholes
#19: mold
#18: Deeanna
#17: uncared for dogs
#16: fleas
#15: the overflowing garbage and underused recycle bins!

The day we moved in here, the lady who was moving out (who was crazy by the way!) told us that we were lucky because they "just talked Mr. S. into finally getting a dumpster!" Oh boy, lucky us! I remember thinking, "seriously, who needs more than a garbage can per week?!" Aparently I underestimated the lack of social responsibility that represents Apple Lane. Our dumpster is overflowing every week, often days before the garbage truck comes. So much so that they often refuse to empty it! We go out there once a week tops to contribute our weekly little bag of garbage. I am always repulsed by the recycleable items poking out of the dumpster. What is even more disgusting though is when we watch Britney bring garbage out to her recycle bin because she is too lazy to walk to the dumpster! Who knew recycling was such a difficult task....

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

#16...

#20: potholes

#19: mold
#18: Deeanna
#17: uncared for dogs
#16: Fleas!

This one goes with #17 because here in the state of Washington where weather is basically mellow and stays in the middle range, if you are not proactive your dogs will have fleas! Big surprise, all the dogs running around here do. I have had animals my entire life and have never had a flea problem but I can not get rid of them here! We flea bomb, treat the pets, wash the bedding, vacume regularly...but still they make their way back in. Poor Squishy gets flea dermititis and looses the hair on her butt during the summer when it is at its worst. I hate fleas! Its an impossible problem to get rid of when we are the only ones fighting the battle!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

On to #17

Continuing the countdown..
#20: potholes
#19: mold
#18: Deeanna
#17: Random uncared for dogs!

They are everywhere! Everyone has a random "convience dog" here, you know...the kind that they get from a friend of a friend when they dont really want it. So, what happens? They run around the yard and poop in our part of the yard. They are not spayed or neutered or trained so they cause problems. They have fleas. It sucks! I love animals and hate to see them treated this way. The crazy thing though is that the oh-so-responsible people that are treating their animals like disposable items actually consider us the bad pet owners! Why, you ask? Because we keep Domino on a tie out when he is outside! Apparently it is abuse to not want him to get hit by a car and I guess it doesn't matter that we take him to the park every day! Grr....

Monday, December 14, 2009

Counting down..

#20: Potholes
#19: Mold
#18: Deanna

She thinks she is the Queen bee of this place. What an honor that is! She starts petitions for locked mailboxes (like that was going to happen!) and comments on the "asthetic" value of our yard and pidley little flower beds. She is always here and always has traffic coming and going. She knows every other resident and found them the place when they moved in. Plus, her hair is the choppiest and bleach blondest mullet I have ever seen!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The countdown!

Continuing the countdown of things we will not miss....

#20: Potholes
#19: The mold.

This place is full of it! We noticed it on the celing when we moved in so we bought a dehumidifier (which we took out of rent by the way). It runs all winter long and most of the fall; great for our electric bill! All of our clothes feel damp and cold, plus its just gross to think of mold everywhere. I think there is no insulation whatsoever in here; also great for the bill. Im sure the walls are full of moisture, who knows what we have been breathing into our lungs for the past year and a half!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

We are making a break for it!!

We are finally moving from here at the end of the month, yay! So, we are starting a countdown of the things we will NOT miss about Apple Lane. That means 20 more posts....

#20 - The damn potholes!

We are going to need both a chiropractor and new car shocks after living here for a year and a half. Plus they accumulate a gross mixture of water and who knows what else. Splurge on some new gravel Mr. S!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Moving??!!

e have finally been seriously searching for a different place to live, yay! We spent part of this weekend going around Seattle viewing rentals; an excursion that is never boring! Here are a few of the "interesting" points;

"We are interracial lesbian grandmas, you OK with that?!"
-this was actually in the craigslist post, we had to check it out! Only one of them was there when we viewed it, but she was awesome! :) She already was including us in her family and inviting us to holidays. They were dog lovers and had a playmate for Domino plus a big fenced backyard. She even brought a chair into the living room to spend time getting to know Domino. We liked her so much that we were actually considering a 500sqft efficency in a somewhat questionable area of town just so we could rent from them! It ended up being too small though, Domino looked like a giant in it!

The cutest apartment ever
-This one was a very large house split up into 4 apartments and it was absolutely awesome! It was an older house so the apartment had great charm. The landlords were a really cute gay couple (I swear we weren't trying for only gay people!) and it was in Capitol Hill which is an awesome area of the city! But, they just called to say the couple right before us got it, damn!

The houseboat on land

-This one was also in a great area of the city. It was a little quirky though. The floors were all quite a bit slanted and the bedroom was big enough for our bed...and thats it! The celings were so low that it was a good thing we are both under 5'4"! The toilet was up on a ledge for some reason, which put it dangerously close to the low celing. It had a balcony though with an amazing view of the sound and the mountains, that alone would have made it worth it. But, there was no yard, not even a patch of grass! Whats the point of renting a house if there isn't even a yard?

The confusing one
-Our current landlord; Mr. S is foreign and impossible to understand on the phone which has made the last few years very difficult in terms of trying to work anything out with him. So you can image how upset I was when I called on this place and couldn't understand a thing the guy said! We finally figured out the address though and went to look at it. Everything was great expcept that all the flooring is linolium! Who wants that in a bedroom? I guess we will be shopping for rugs if we get it! The landlord actually turned out to be really cute and his "friend" (he was very quick to use that term) was the most flamboyant Asian man I have ever seen, so that made it interesting. Cross your fingers that it works out for us!

The scene from a serial killer movie!
-We had another one to look at so we stopped by a bit early...it was a run down trailer on a dark secluded corner, yikes! You know its young females coming to view it, why don't you get there early and turn on some lights?! Why we decided to stick around and look at it is beyond me. I had talked to the guy earlier on the phone and all he said in answer to any of my questions was "Yup." The only elaboration he gave was when he was complaining about the last people who didn't show up to view the place. Im sure they saw the outside and sped off! He jumped the fence and grabbed the hidden key, very safe. We didn't think it was possible, but the inside was far far scarier than the outside! I fully expected to see a dead body in the bathroom. At one point he even said, "no rats in the fridge, thats good!" I dont think a single thing in there had been updated or fixed since the early 70s. Needless to say, we got out of there very quickly!